The Lamentation

Virginia Hooper

 
 

Invocation

 

Philosophical speculation and recent history alike had 
prepared the way for an understanding of the process by which, 
in times long past, the gods had been recruited from the ranks 
of mortal men.
 
-- Jean Seznec, The Survival of the Pagan Gods

 
Anything that serves as a hint
or reminder of the past, either of two prayers
in the canon beginning with the word Memento,
the first being for the living, the second for the dead,
each serving as a reminder of the past.
At the line of the apparent meeting of the sky
with the earth, the bounds of one’s observation, knowledge
and experience unfold upon the point
where the observer stands. The great circle
of a celestial sphere cutting the center of the mind
midway between its zenith and nadir,
revealing a layer of memory characterized by the presence
of one or more distinctive centers of attraction.
I came to know her again, to perceive her
as identical with the one I had previously known.
So related, as two concepts, that if the first
determines the second, then the second
determines the first. The quotient obtained in dividing
unity by a number or expression. To pursue
for the purpose of catching; to range over an area
in search of game; to chase, drive away,
or pursue with greed; to search for eagerly.
To search for until found; to find after a search.
To utter the loud, mournful wail of a dog, wolf,
or other animal. To utter such a cry in pain, grief or rage.

The first part of the romance
began on an ancient instrument of execution,
a horizontal piece near the top, upon which condemned
persons were fastened until they died. A sacred symbol
in many ancient religions, consisting basically of two
intersecting lines. The emblem of Christianity,
a representation of the cross upon which Christ died.
Any severe trial, affliction or suffering.
Anything that resembles or is intermediate between two
other things: a cross between poetry and prose.
The accidental contact of two wires so that current
from one flows to the other. The geometric mean
of two numbers. To move or pass from one side
to the other; go across; traverse. To draw
a line across. To obstruct or hinder; thwart.
Our paths had crossed. It had crossed my mind
this might happen. She made me promise to tell the truth
by making the sign of the cross over my heart.
She insisted I mark a cross on the palm
of my hand, as though paying a fortuneteller.
Choose implies an act of will: to choose a side.
Select emphasizes careful consideration and comparison:
to select the best cookie from a tray.
To pick is to select because especially well fitted
or appropriate. Cull means to select and collect
at the same time: to cull striking passages from a book.
To prefer is to favor mentally, often without any overt
act: she preferred me for no other reason.
But she had also thwarted it. This much I could remember,
but not easily. Memory, remembrance, retrospect, recollection
and reminiscence refer to the recalling
of one’s past experience. Memory is the mental
faculty by which this recall takes place; remembrance
is the act of bringing something to mind:
her eyes were like sapphires. Retrospect is the turning
of the mind to the past, and recollection
the voluntary calling back of what has been learned
or experienced. Of the two, retrospect suggests
contemplation or careful consideration of the past,
while recollection is more specific
and aims to recapture a single fact or event
for some immediate practical purpose. Reminiscence
implies the narration and savoring of past events.
The card had been drawn. The Fool represents the absence
of all things real or imagined. It is the beginner’s
mind and the concept of nothingness.
“Now that you’ve come, stay a while.”
Either of the terms of the story that,
separated in the premises, are joined in the conclusion,
so that they are eternally happy. We met by the edge of the sea.
Effect, consequence, result, outcome and upshot
refer to events or circumstances produced
by some agency. Effect stresses most strongly
the presence and force of an agency, since its correlative
is cause. Popular usage often substitutes
consequence for effect, though strictly a consequence
is merely that which comes afterward in time
and is not necessarily connected causally with its antecedents.
Result suggests finality, or that effect
with which the operation of a cause terminates.
Outcome suggests a result that makes visible or evident
the working of an agency, and upshot suggests
a decisive or climactic result. She had sent me hunting
for causes. A determinant, antecedent,motive and reason
refer to events or circumstances prior to others.
A cause produces a necessary and invariable effect;
it may be used in the sense of the determinant
to mean one of the prior factors that influence the form,
details or character of the effect
without being its sole cause. An antecedent refers merely
to that which goes before in time,
and does not necessarily imply any causal relationship.
A motive is the inner impulse that guides
intelligent action: a reason, the explanation given.
Reason, purpose, motive, ground and argument
are compared as they denote the basis of a human action.
A reason seeks to explain or justify an action
by citing facts, circumstances, inducement and the like,
together with the workings of the mind upon them.
Reasons may include purpose and motive
as internal or subjective elements,
and also grounds and arguments that are external or objective.
The purpose of an action is the effect
that it is intended to produce; its motive is the inner
impulse that sets is in motion and guides it.
I returned to the edge of the sea. The beginning
of the existence of anything; a primary source.
The point at which the axes of a Cartesian coordinate
system intersect: the point where the ordinate
and abscissa equal zero. A quarter section of a circle,
subtending an arc of 90 degrees, with a movable radius
for measuring angles, used in navigation, surveying
and astronomy. In a Cartesian coordinate system,
any of the four sections formed by the intersection
of the X and Y axes. Moving counter-clockwise
from the upper right-hand quadrant,
they are called the first, second, third and fourth
quadrants. Beginning, commencement, opening, initiation
and inauguration refer to the earliest period of existence.
Beginning is the broadest term and is applied
freely to human and nonhuman activities. Initiation,
besides the particular sense of the beginning
of membership in an organization, refers to the beginning
of things created by human effort or ingenuity:
The initiation of our friendship was marked by great relief.
This was as far as I could go without adopting
the method of the cross-word puzzler,
which is to use the answers already secured as clues
for the solution of the more difficult riddles that remain.

 

The First Quadrant

 

If transcendental subjectivity is the universe of possible 
sense, then an outside is precisely -- nonsense.
 
-- Edmund Husserl, Cartesian Meditations

 
Being in the shadow of someone superlative,
spinning round a magical orbit,
forming the essential part of the symmetry,
climbing stairs that led the way
on a day that imposed upon us to stay
in the house, I met her trying to see
out the window. She had told me to sit
down and pause a moment, then she’d give
me a reason not to go. I began to cry.
“But why?” she asked. “You can have
your cake and eat it too, if you like.”
She was writing her memoirs, she would
later explain to me. “How come?”
I asked her. She handed me some
ice-cream for the cake. “I should
be on my way, you see, I’m on my bike
following a course on the far side of a wave
which brought me here. I guess it’s high
time I got somewhere.” She told
me to sit a moment, not to go, that much
of her time was spent in dealing with her
own endeavors. Tiresome, it became.
After our exchange, she asked my name.
I could not remember and said I would prefer
to omit that part of the game in favor of such
activities as keeping warm from the cold.
This apparently struck her as delightful,
that the verification of so small a percentage
of her theory could so powerfully strengthen
her belief in its totality. The blank
in my mind began to obsess my thoughts, as I sank
back into a chair to gaze out her window and lengthen
the vision of days I would spend with her, each vintage
of an hour before the passage into nightfall.

To confuse or perplex; mystify.
To solve by investigation or study; to puzzle
over. To attempt to understand or solve.
A toy, word, game, etc., designed to test one’s ingenuity
or patience. Puzzle, problem, enigma, conundrum,
riddle and mystery signify any difficult or perplexing
matter. A puzzle is usually intricate
but can be solved by ingenuity and patience;
many puzzles are made for amusement. A problem usually demands
special knowledge and good judgement; formal problems
are given to students to test their learning
and skill. An enigma is something said or written
whose meaning is hidden and can only be inferred from clues.
A conundrum is a baffling question, the answer
to which depends upon some trick of words.
Conundrums are also called riddles, but a riddle
is usually less playful in character: The riddle required
my response. A mystery was originally something beyond
human comprehension, but the word
is now freely applied to perplexing situations.

During the recurring period within which
certain events occurred and completed themselves,
during the days we came to know one another,
she began to teach me many things beyond
the level of my previous understanding, forming a bond
as though we were a daughter and mother.
There were many and assorted books upon her shelves,
each afternoon requiring that we find a niche
to settle in, while she revealed
her special knowledge pertaining to the arts
of magic and the stars. “Time is an abstraction
from change,” she began explaining to me.
I replied that this was possible to see.
“It’s secret rests in two bodies of attraction,
and in the knowledge there concealed.
We must distinguish between two different types
of change. The first of an event taking place
before our eyes, the second of an event
having already occurred. In the first,
we detect an event as randomly dispersed,
and in the second, it is the memory that is meant.
Imagine, if you can,measuring the relative pace
of those two seagulls in their flights.”
I looked to see through her window
the one intent upon overtaking the other,
following in a regular and persistent pattern.
“We observe the spatial disposition of things
and we follow their temporal succession,
but to perceive them moving forward in progression
requires the sense of each. As to where their wings
will take them and when, each seagull follows the pattern
determined in the search for its lover.
In this direction, all creatures go.”

Journey, voyage, tour, excursion and pilgrimage
denote a going from one place to another.
Journey is the general term, implying no particular distance
or means of locomotion, but the tendency
is to restrict it to travel by land; voyage
is commonly reserved for travel by sea. A tour is a journey
to a number of different places by a circuitous route.
A trip is a short journey. Both tour and trip
imply a return to the starting point; this is made explicit
in excursion, which describes a temporary departure
from a place. A pilgrimage is a journey to a destination
held in reverence. To succeed in time or order.
To seek to overtake or capture; to follow
the customs of a country. To watch or observe closely:
She followed the course of her life. I had,
no doubt, followed her here. To understand the course,
sequence or meaning of, as an explanation.
To come after as a consequence or result: the effect
follows the cause. To follow through to the end,
as an argument. In card games, to play a card
of the suit led. A stroke in billiards that causes the cue
ball, after impact, to follow the object ball.

The beautiful formlessness of the sea,
a landscape that was not land, but the end
of the land, upon this edge I stood and stared,
wedged between two waves of remembrance,
each of which afforded me an avenue of admittance.
And standing along this rocky shore, I knew then that I was paired
to both. The tide gathered itself as the wind
brought to me the sight of the seagulls in their constancy,
the faithfulness of their purpose. The silence
drew away from me as the rim of my vision parted
in such a way that a faint, undersea light filtered
across the sand, exposing each pebble and shell
as the wreckage of some other abandoned landscape,
as though seeing from the bottom of a pool, their fixed shape,
the glimpse of some other time and place I can’t dispel.
By the beautiful formlessness of the sea, I remembered
my given name. Following an imaginary line, I had started
the descending flight which had led to my residence.
After a moment, she stood beside me and we talked
of my understanding. I had made a big decision
not to leave, to stay right here in the house
and under no condition allow myself to be taken back.
It would be difficult, but I planned a counterattack
I knew should work if I used all my hope. Anyhow,
the first important step was to tell her my intention.
By now we were some distance from the house, as we walked
along the shore. A quarter of an hour
passed before we turned back. I told her to hold on
to me by all means because I hadn’t been discharged
at all. I had somehow managed to get out!
She took my hand, “You’ve only followed the route
I made for you.” We stood together facing her large
house by the sea until the sun was finally gone.
Events here, I plainly saw, were beyond my own power.

Emblem, symbol, sign and token agree
in denoting a visible representation, usually of something
intangible. An emblem appeals most strongly
to the eye. In this strictest sense, it is a pictorial
device, as a seal, badge, flag, etc., or, less frequently,
some object which represents or suggests
a religious, familial, political or similar group,
either through fitness or historical connection:
The seashell became the emblem of our love.
In less strict use, emblem is sometimes interchanged
with symbol, a word with much broader application:
The Cross is the emblem (or symbol) of Christianity.
A symbol may be pictorial or not; its connection
with its original may be historical, conventional or purely
arbitrary. A sign may be an arbitrary symbol, or
it may be the outward manifestation of inward character.
Token is applied chiefly to a symbol which represents
a pledge: A kiss is a token of love.
Bend, bow, crook, turn and twist mean to change
the form or direction of a thing. Bend and bow suggest
a smooth curve, but bend may also be used
for angular or irregular turns: She bent my path
toward her. Crook means to bend into a hooklike shape.
Turn refers to a change in direction
rather than a change in shape, while twist suggests
a great or violent force: to turn the course of a stream,
to twist my arm. Bend, bow and stoop refer
to bodily positions. Bend is used of any departure
from an upright stance: to bend over the table.
Bow is usually formal, and describes a forward
and downward inclination of the head or upper body.

By hook or by crook, I had been found in her book.
Without defense or protection, being without means,
lacking the conditions necessary for any particular
kind of validation, as of a contract or promise,
I was conferred into a precise point, a mysterious mark,
from which the diverted hours led me to embark
upon a course toward her side, an apprentice
washed in by the raging sea, standing perpendicular
above the teeming foam, seeking shelter and one to please.
On a day that imposed upon us to stay in the house, she took
me into her pleasure as though I had strayed into her presence
without there having been any need or reason. A longing
bred and borne on the very ground
where I had come to stand, a simple enough provocation
to awaken the desire for her and violent storms
at sea. Absorbed upon the forms
that made her image, I was protected by the sea’s fortification,
wishing for nothing more than to work beside her spellbound
through these days that promised to be forever ongoing,
as all things are governed by her intelligence.

 

The Second Quadrant

 

All that in idea seemed simple became in practice immediately
complex; as the waves shape themselves symmetrically from the cliff top, 
but to the swimmer among them are divided by steep gulfs, and foaming 
crests.
 
-- Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse

 
“Would you care to take a trip to the lighthouse?”
she asked on a day that imposed upon us to stay
out of the house. I said that this sounded
like a lovely thing to do. “We can pack
a picnic basket and spend the whole day right smack
on the island,” she boasted, “and completely surrounded
by water.” The attraction was undeniable and not a little risque.
“If it appeals to you in the slightest, a night in the lighthouse
could be arranged.” I carefully considered the thought.
What did this portend? “Well, yes, of course,”
I replied to the pleasure, “but we must rise
with the seagulls.” She nodded her head.
“Which means, of course, we must go early to bed,”
she declared to me. I knew it was clearly unwise
to argue this point. In any case, I was quick to endorse
the event and certainly had no wish to appear untaught
in the particulars of my inclinations. But her point
was well taken that a day and a night spent
in the lighthouse would surely be divine. We were
definitely in sympathy. So the imagined milieu
of one foggy night’s indulgence did not provoke dissent
from me. I had heard strange tales about this joint!
And besides, a slight respite would be nice.
So the next morning we set our sails toward our goal,
tacking into the wind, rising with each cresting wave.
“What makes a sailboat go?” I thought to ask.
“The wind — that is what.” She handed me the flask
of wine. “But the wind will sometimes behave
in a very odd way.” She leaned back against our bedroll,
dipping her hand into the basket for a slice
of Camembert cheese. “Otherwise, how could we sail
directly against the force which is pushing us?
The wind’s force passing over our sail’s surface
creates a lift upon the topside, a contrary vacuum
occurs on the backside. This vacuum causes our boat to zoom
ahead. Any attempt to locate this power is useless,
but the laws assure us it is there. This wondrous
effect is also assisted by the essential detail
of the centerboard keel, maintaining our upright
position. And so, there are two forces — one from water,
the other from air — known as the parallelogram of power.
A boat is capable of sailing into the wind,
with the wind, or at right angles to its destined
position. We have two sails lending us power.
The first channels air across the main and is a quarter
of its size. The larger and the smaller unite
in concert to provide the proper angle in their opposition.
Air rushes through their division; from this the vacuum springs.”
I enjoyed her explanation, but better was the wind
against my face and, now and then, the sprays of mist
washing over us. She handed me a sandwich I couldn’t resist
of avocado and alfalfa sprouts. “I think I comprehend
what makes our sailboat go and all those other things,
but my mind is somewhat vague concerning the proposition
of opposition.” She told me not to worry. “Sit back
and enjoy your sandwich.” I obeyed and figured
by now we must be halfway there. From one perspective
I saw our home receding into the distance,
and from another emerged the lighthouse’s existence.
Everything seemed as it should, with no other objective
required then the one at hand. We clowned and snickered
the rest of the way, savoring every glorious snack.

Any movement of air, especially a natural
horizontal movement; air in motion naturally.
Any powerful or wonderful force: It was the wind’s
pleasure to serve them. The direction from which a wind
blows; one of the cardinal points of the compass:
They gathered from the four winds.
A suggestion or intimation: to get wind of a plot.
The power of breathing. Breath as expended in words,
especially as having more sound than sense; idle chatter.
The wind instruments of an orchestra; also, the players
of these instruments. To receive a hint of:
The deer got wind of the hunter — hurrah!
To sail in a direction as near as possible
to that from which the wind blows. A sandwich is made
from two thin slices of bread, having between them
meat, cheese, etc., only it is highly improper
to eat an animal, so an avocado may be substituted,
or even a banana if one desires. Sometimes an eggplant is tasty.
Any combination of alternating dissimilar ingredients
pressed together. Day alternated with night.
To change from one place, condition, etc., to another
and back again. Existing, occurring or following by turns;
reciprocal. We alternated steering the rudder
while our legs were sandwiched together.
It was a very pleasant voyage.

The abandoned lighthouse stood on a slight eminence
of land located in the center of the island.
On all sides, the ground sloped gently away
until the shore met the lapping affection of the water’s edge.
We climbed out of our boat. “We should wedge
our craft up among the rocks so it will stay
safe from the tide. Perhaps on the far side where the highland
faces north.” While we performed our task with diligence,
the sun had waited to place itself beneath the darkening sky
and now, as evening came, was nowhere to be found.
“Now tell me, have you ever seen such a splendid retreat?”
she asked with evident joy. I had to agree.
Anyone would. “Let’s put our bags away, then we’ll sightsee
around the place. We can gather some mesquite
for roasting our fish. Afterward, we’ll wade the sound
for a clam and an oyster or two.” This seemed to specify
precisely what we’d do for dinner. “Put your sweater
on, you’ll catch a chill.” She handed me my knapsack.
I couldn’t help but stop and admire the conical structure
of rusticated stone, a crown of tiny windows encircling the top.
We followed the winding path toward the door, when suddenly a drop
of rain splashed down. Seeing I was scared, she told me to trust her.
We wound our way up the spiral stairway and began to unpack.
“This storm is going to be a rough one, so we’d better
plan to camp inside. As I recall, there’s a dry supply
of wood stored down below. We’ll light a fire
and make ourselves at home.” I trembled as the first crack of lightning
bathed the facets of the room in separateness, a faint
and subtle apprehension stretched my fears undone,
directing my intelligence back upon its own confusion.
She had left me standing alone in order to acquaint
me with another part of myself, some unfelt, frightening
quarter I hadn’t known. Shadowing this initial agitation, my desire
to bring her back into my presence prevailed against
her absence, and suddenly she reappeared. “I found some nice
dry mesquite.” I turned to see her standing at the stairs,
a sign of reassurance that pinned me to ground.
“The fear that I just had while you were nowhere to be found,
I do not understand it — I have never suffered such nightmares
in my sleep.” She answered, “This was merely a device
to hear you call my name, as a young, tame animal left unfenced
will do when unattended.” I stared in disbelief.
She had put me to a proof. “Your voice is strong
and resonant. A fine thing. You have learned
from me.” She worked to build the fire. “Our calls are in accord.”
I understood nothing of this, only that she’d been restored
to me. Only that, without her, I had yearned
to be with her. “I hope this is not a lesson you will prolong.”
She answered that the test was tried, then sighed relief.

A device used in a timepiece for securing
a uniform movement, consisting of an escape wheel
and a detente or lock, through which periodical impulses
are imparted to the balance wheel. A typewriter mechanism
controlling or regulating the horizontal movement
of the carriage. To clasp or unfold in the arms: hug.
To accept willingly; adopt, as a religion or doctrine.
To avail oneself of: to embrace an offer.
Surround; include; contain. To have sexual intercourse with.
To hug one another. To grasp. We made love
after the fire was made. Affording approach, view, passage
or access because of the absence or removal of barriers,
restriction, etc.; unobstructed; unconcealed;
not secret or hidden: an open heart. Expanded; unfolded:
an open flower. I revealed to her .
my fear, she revealed to me her need. Afterward, we took a rest
and played a game involving a loop of string
stretched in an intricate arrangement over the fingers
and then transferred to the other player’s hands
in a changed form. To engage in sport or diversion;
amuse oneself; frolic. To act or behave in a way
that is not to be taken seriously. To make love sportively.
To move quickly or irregularly as if frolicking:
the lights played along the wall.
To discharge or be discharged freely: a fountain playing
in the square. To perform on a musical instrument.
To give forth musical sounds. To move or employ (a piece,
card, etc.,) in a game. To decide a tie
by playing one more game.

“The rain has stopped,” I observed in anticipation
of gathering a portion of our dinner from the profusion
of estuaries that graced our small island in a lacework
of tidal pools and shallow coves. She had prepared
my expectations with her many stories which had ensnared
me into their narrative. “Can we go out now and lurk
around in the dark?” My excitement was hardly in exclusion
to the hunger our lovemaking had awakened, and in participation,
I knew we could summon together the varied delights
of a seafood platter. Since our bedrolls were made,
the unpacking done, her permission was easily obtained.
This night was a mysterious place where land and water intertwined,
eroding any sense of where imagination began, all combined
to form this nocturnal vantage point. She said I was untrained
in the proper method of catching a clam. I was unafraid
and told her so. But still, she insisted on the wrongs and rights
of stalking our supper in a definite manner. “The interaction
between two communities, one below water, the other above,
is not to be treated carelessly. I will not permit you
to begin this enterprise until adequate measures are taken.”
I knew she was attempting to chasten
my imprudence, directing me against the act of some taboo.
I began to cry. “You must learn these things, my love,
I’m sorry to upset you. But until my satisfaction
is assured that you comprehend the laws of our environment,
I will restrain your actions.” My sense of shame
had spoiled my appetite, as a different sort of gravity
defined itself to me. She explained that I had neglected
to observe the rite of blessing which connected
the clam to her next home. “Its soul mustn’t leave a cavity
behind. You have to give the clam name.”
The simple rightness of this gesture afforded me an enlightenment
I had not know. “After you christen the creature, she will
forever be your friend.” I asked if there were any particular
requirements in the selection of a name. “The title should serve
a simple fitness to the form.” I carefully considered the issue.
“Well, I guess I need to meet the clam and conduct a proper interview.”
She nodded in approval. We walked across the island to where a curve
of land created a small pool enclosed by peninsular
protections. The water’s surface remained unbroken as a tranquil
divider between this world and that. Another frame of mind
penetrated my intentions as I stared through to this undersea
society. I glanced at her just once then plunged my hand
into its depths and seized a clam. I tenderly placed
the creature up on a rock at eye-level. I faced
it squarely and tried to start a conversation. “I understand
you have no name.” The clam would not respond to me.
This seemed an excellent opportunity to examine the streamlined
shape of her protective shell. Clearly, a fine design.
“Forgive me this inconvenience, but it’s my instruction
to inform you that other worlds request your company.
You probably have a little anxiety. As a matter of fact,
the same has recently happened to me. I did react
with fear at first, but now I see the richness of this polyphony.
Your new home will expose you to many colors of seduction,
as mine has, and some beautiful, unfamiliar shoreline.”
The clam began to stir at my suggestion. I felt the urge
to give her an affectionate pat on the head. With this,
she cracked her shell and whispered, “It would be my pleasure
to commence a journey.” I explained she must reveal
some attribute of herself to me, some insight upon which to seal
our acquaintance. She confided that the treasure
of her heart was the happiness of her home, a singular bliss
of satisfaction. Regarding this, our sentiments did not diverge.
So, I took an oath to keep her shell as a memento
of our friendship and christened her Lily of Brisco.
Before long, I had cultivated the companionship
of two oysters, four mussels, a periwinkle, three crabs
and one lobster. We spread a blanket on some slabs
of stone, and on account of our wet clothes, we had to strip
to nothing. The calm after the storm hummed a pleasing divertimento,
as the night began to spin its own diminuendo.

To rest on the surface of a liquid,
supported by the upward pressure of the liquid; also,
to be carried along gently across the surface.
To move lightly and effortlessly, as if buoyed across:
She floated dreamily about. In weaving, the filling threads
that are passed under or over the warp threads
without being engaged. Flock, herd, drove, bevy, covey,
gaggle, gam, pack, pride, swarm, litter, hatch
and brood denote an assemblage of animals. Flock
is applied to birds and to small mammals, now usually
sheep or goats. Larger animals, as cattle and elephants,
form a herd; when gathered together to be driven,
they are a drove. Other terms are fairly restricted
in application: a bevy of quail, a covey of partridges, a gaggle
of geese, a gam of whales, a pack of dogs or wolves,
a pride of lions, a swarm of bees. All the offspring born
at one time form a a litter or a hatch or brood.
The shape or contour of something as distinguished
from its substance or color; external structure.
The body of a living being. The particular state,
appearance, character, in which something presents itself:
energy in the form of light. The style or manner
in which the parts of a poem, play, picture, are expressed
or organized: to use traditional forms.
Proper arrangement or order. A formula or draft,
as of a letter, used as a model or guide. The intrinsic
nature of something as distinguished from the matter
that embodies it. Essence. To give a specific
or exemplified shape to: Guesswork forms the larger part
of this theory. To shape by discipline or training.
To take shape by winding around a fixed point
in recurrent curves, until a framework emerges of an interior structure.
To come out of one’s shell.

 

The Third Quadrant

 

If we see a city as a puzzle or set of riddles, we will believe
ourselves closer to its heart when lost or going nowhere in particular. 
  
-- Robert Harbison, Eccentric Spaces

 
“It’s quite provoking,” she said after a long silence,
“to watch the flames dancing around the log.”
We were nestled deep into the sofa, snug and warm,
drinking cognac. She seemed at a loss
for words. I asked her if, by chance, she was cross
with me. “Not at all,” she hastened to inform,
“I’m merely considering what we’ll write into our travelogue.”
Happy to be home again after our brief absence,
I stared toward the fire with hopes of seeing
what she saw. Nothing was there
but flames and a log, as far as my eyes
could tell. I knew she saw things in ways
I did not, that an object conveys
to her a life, and all that it personifies.
I looked into the fire again and wished for her to share
what it was prevailed in there. Pleading
for an explanation, I begged her to confide
in me. “It’s time you learned to gaze
with your own imagination. I will guide
you when you need me, but I want your own direction
to define itself. Although, you should confide
in me, so as not to follow through a maze
of mishaps, or plunge into a backslide.”
I reflected on my new instruction then stared
inside my cognac glass. Her attention went back
upon the fire. After a diligent few minutes, I eagerly declared,
“Oh look! There’s a tempest brewing in my snifter.”
“Let me sneak a look before it swells to swifter
proportions.” She peeked with some discretion, despaired
in resignation, and told me I was off the track.
Apparently my vision was impaired.
“I’m just reporting what I found.”
She wrapped her arm around
me, evidently still fixed in thought, her mind
behind closed doors. “You teach me language,”
I complained, “and yet it rarely serves or works to my advantage.”
An explanation not forthcoming, I felt inclined
to quit this game, resolve it to the background
of my thoughts, label it a trick to confound
my senses. Outside our window, a bough
of cedar brushed against the pane,
distracting my obsession from the issue
close at hand. Mindful of her mood, I carefully
slipped away toward the window and drew the pulley
of the drapery, intent upon finding the clue
that had lured me near, knowing well it must pertain
to the inner workings of imagination, somehow.

That which induces or is used for inducing. In a pleading,
the allegations that introduce and explain
the issue in dispute. The window inspired her interest.
Desire for knowledge of something, especially
of something novel or unusual. Anything that retrains
or controls. A border of concrete or stone along the edge.
An enclosing or confining framework, margin, etc.
To protect or provide with a curb. A wayward inclination
was curbed by her instruction. Belonging
to the immediate present; in progress: the current point.
Passing from one person to another; circulating,
moving, running, flowing. A continuous onward movement,
as of water. Any perceptible course, movement
or trend. A line continuously bent,
as the arc of a circle. A curving,
or something curved. The locus of a point moving
in such a way that its course can be defined
by an equation. Any line that, plotted against coordinates,
represents variations in the values of a given
quantity, force, characteristic, etc.
Something that conceals or separates: The curtain
of darkness weighed heavily across the night.
Passage back. Withdrawal. Retrogression.
To return to the mean value of a series of observations.
Sing a a song of six pence until the song sings of itself,
having equal sides and equal angles,
unfolding flat upon the table to disclose
one red rose, two orchids, three African daisies, seven irises,
eight tulips and a bunch of freesia. To move together.

Bent on discovery, I stared through the window pane
and loosened my attachment to the warm protection
of the room. Gradually, I began to feel
the evening’s chill dissolve my awareness into separate
facets, each aspect of my self folding inward as elaborate
reconstructions reflecting one upon the other to reveal
an internal architecture precise in its perfection.
A spiral stairway winding in a crystal chain
led down toward the center, a second curving back
in opposite direction. The trickling sound
of water drew me closer. I descended
step by step into a honeycomb of courts
and chambers. Here were untold riches. All sorts
of geometrical configurations — their patterns extended
infinitely, by turns seeming to compound
and simplify. I saw no lack
of subtleties and symmetries to explore,
though I chose a simple one
which repeated a two-sided motif of dark horizontal
leaves, another of light vertical leaves.
Each shape clearly a form of translation, weaves
of parallel shifts in either horizontal
or vertical direction. Just as I’d begun
to see that both light and dark patterns were no more
than identical reflections, it became clear
to me that a dark leaf could be turned once through
a right angle into the opposite position
of a neighboring leaf, then always
rotating around the same point where its stays,
turning again into the next position,
and again around the same point, to continue
coming back upon itself through a sphere.
And then. . . her voice. I found myself standing
before the window again, mesmerized
by the snow silently falling in the dark, my nose pressed upon
the glass, my breath fogging up the scene.
The field outside our house was covered in a velveteen
blanket of white. But the spiral staircase was gone.
Everything my imagination yielded up had vaporized
upon the pane, leaving only the vaguest understanding.

A light, portable barrier for horses
or runners to leap over in races. A race in which
such barrier are used. An obstacle or difficulty
to be surmounted. Formerly, a sledge on which condemned
persons were dragged to the place of execution.
To leap over. To make cover, or enclose with hurdles, obstacles, etc.
A movable framework, as on interlaced twigs or branches,
used for temporary fencing. The outer coating
of certain fruits or seeds, especially of an ear of corn.
Any outer covering, especially when relatively worthless.
Appearance presented to the mind by circumstances.
A looking or facing in a given direction:
the southern aspect of the house. Any configuration
of the planets. A category of the verb
indicating the nature of the action performed
in regard to the passage of time. Phase, aspect, side,
facet and stage denote one of a number of different appearances
presented by an object. Phase differs through change
in the object; aspect differs through change
in the position of the observer.

 

The Fourth Quadrant

 

The experience of art acknowledges that it cannot present
the perfect truth of what it experiences in terms of final knowledge. 
Here there is no absolute progress and no final exhaustion of what 
lies in a work of art. The experience of art knows this of itself.
 
-- Hans-Georg Gadamer, Truth and Method

 
The sound of morning waves broke
against the shore outside our bedroom window.
I heard their soft retreat across the sand pulling
them back into the body of their container,
hesitating as though the sand were their detainer,
until the subtle lulling
washing to an fro
awoke
me from my sleep. Eager to explore
to world I had discovered
the night before, refreshed by dreams
of intimation,
filled with inspiration,
knowing now this world is something other than it seems,
I reconsidered what it was I had uncovered.
Or was it just a metaphor?
Silently, I dressed and made my way
down the hall, pausing briefly to admire a gilded frame
encaging hand-drawn birds pressed beneath the glass —
a cormorant, laughing gull and snowy egret.
I had gotten her to admit
these were the things she’d done to pass
the time before I came.
Some were done in watercolor, others with a conte
crayon. Even now, she set aside a part
of our morning for me to render
what it was that captured my attention.
I painted pictures she called abstraction —
the process of extraction
from natural forms the shapes of my conviction,
then shuffling them together, as though inside a blender,
and calling it my art.
Every morning I would hurry to examine
the color of the day. I loved the way the sky
would lift above the sea, the contrast of two worlds where this seam
divided air from water, where liquid blue
dispersed across the scene in a bleeding azure value
continuous as the canvas on which I painted. A theme
would finally emerge. I can’t say why,
but next I would be working in the studio, mixing a thin
wash of some new color. After creating the desired transparency,
I would begin to put my vision on the canvas.
Without the need for any preparation,
an image would come forward. The saturation
of the pigment might be analogous
to the nature of the light, though sometimes fancy
led another way and where I ended up
could be a trifle odd. But none of this mattered
to her. She saw lilacs
blooming on the horizon, bathed in hearts
of watery foliage, their delicate parts
opening in the mist. Or maybe she found tracks
across the snow, traces of a presence yet to scatter
with the wind. Or a cookie dipping in a cup
of tea, bringing back some memory of life
before I came. Today the light
is clear and luminous, the clarity of winter’s
spareness filling the air with a climate of intention
awaiting my invention —